Confessions of a Chocoholic


I’m a chocoholic.  There.  I’ve finally said it.  I’ve been denying it for years.  But, I’ve finally accepted the truth.  I’m a chocoholic.

I’ve always liked chocolate.  I mean, who doesn’t like chocolate?  What kid doesn’t like chocolate?  Everybody likes chocolate, don’t they?

I can’t remember a time when I didn’t eat chocolate.  Except maybe when I was dieting.  But, like many other people, when I was dieting I used to cheat, and eat chocolate anyway, secretly.  Yes, I know, I was only cheating myself, but I did it anyway.  It felt so good, and so bad at the same time.

So there’s never really been any time in my entire life chocolate-free.

Except maybe during the first year or so of my life.  But I don’t remember so I can’t be sure.

Anyway, I’m not so different from most people.  I sometimes buy and eat chocolate.  I’m sure most of you have eaten some chocolate in the last month or so.  Unless, for health reasons you’re not allowed to eat it.

Or you don’t like it!  Do people who don’t like chocolate even exist?

different chocolate
I like all kinds of chocolate

I don’t buy chocolate every week, but sometimes when we go to the supermarket, especially this one, I buy some chocolate.  It’s often just a block of plain, milk chocolate.  Or, sometimes it’s white chocolate.  Or dark chocolate.  Even sometimes some kind of chocolate sweets.

M&Ms are good, too!

I love them all!

Sometimes I can’t make up my mind so I buy 2 or 3 different kinds.  Then when I get home I have a problem.

The chocolate problem

Which one to eat first?

I usually eat the white chocolate first.  It’s always so sweet and tasty.  It reminds me of when I was a kid and I ate Milky Bars (in Australia) – they were great.  When I was a kid, white chocolate seemed so exotic!

The problem is, when I buy 2 or 3 different kinds, I find it difficult not to eat them all immediately.  I mean, I put them in the fridge and try to forget about them.  But every time I open the fridge door, there they are.

What’s a girl to do?

So of course I open one packet and start eating some chocolate.  All the while telling myself that I’ll just eat half of it then put the rest back in the fridge for tomorrow.

And I do put it back in the fridge.  Where it stays for about 10 minutes before I literally run back into the kitchen and take it out again and devour the remaining half.  Then I eat the others the next day because I just lose all self-control when there’s chocolate in the vicinity.

No. Self. Control.

We all have our weaknesses, and I think I can finally admit that my weakness is chocolate.  But I hadn’t realised it until now.

easter chocolate
Chocolate eggs at Easter for the kiddies

I’ve always loved Easter.  It’s so acceptable to eat chocolate at Easter, almost obligatory.  Nobody can accuse you of being a pig at Easter time.  It’s even better when you have kids, you can eat their chocolate eggs while they’re asleep.  Or you can buy as many Easter eggs as you want and nobody in the shop will judge you because everyone thinks you’re buying them for your children.

But really, most of them will become your secret Easter egg stash that nobody else knows about.

And Christmas is ok too.  They make those Father Christmas shaped chocolate figures that are usually made from really cheap and not very good quality chocolate.  But they’re still good, don’t you think?

Not always the best quality, but with chocolate it’s about quantity, not quality, right?

I love almost all kinds of chocolate.  Chocolate cake, brownies, M&Ms, Bountys, orange chocolate, mint chocolate, really sweet chocolate – you name it, I like it.

With a couple of exceptions.

Nutella.  I don’t like it.  I don’t like the nut taste and I avoid it at all costs (well, almost all costs – if it’s the only chocolate choice then I’ll eat it.)  And chocolate truffles.  Not really a fan of these, but again, if I have to eat some, I will.

Russian chocolate

When I first came to Moscow I was surprised at how different the chocolate was here compared to Australian chocolate.  Of course, all brands have different characteristics.  But one thing I noted was that Australian chocolate is so much sweeter than Russian chocolate.

It took a while to get used to, but I managed to finally appreciate the subtle, faint sweetness of Russian chocolate, and I now support the industry whole-heartedly.  I could go as far as to say that Russian chocolate is even better than Australian chocolate because as it’s not so sweet you have a more chocolatey flavour.  The sugar doesn’t drown out the chocolate taste.

russian chocolate
One of the most famous Russian chocolates – Алёнка

As you may know, Olivier and I often travel.  And when we do, we like to visit the supermarkets where ever we go to check out what goodies we can find there to bring back home to Moscow.

Like real parmesan cheese, for example.  Or things like pesto, because it’s so expensive in Moscow.

Or, chocolate.  Because there are so many new and different varieties that I haven’t tried yet, and I want to find out what they’re like.

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So, since I’ve been living in Moscow and travelling to places like Paris, Berlin, Amsterdam and other wonderful exotic places, I’ve been trying out all sorts of different chocolates (and sweets, but that’s a whole other story!).  I’ve made many new discoveries of different flavours, different percentages of cacao, different fillings and other exciting things hiding behind the wrapper.

If I remember correctly, there’s only one brand of chocolate that I really didn’t like, and won’t buy again.  Unless, of course, there’s no other choice and it’s the last chocolate in the world.  I’d buy it then.

So, I’ve been quite spoilt in that I’ve been able to travel and try different chocolate in many parts of the world.  We even spent some time in Switzerland many years ago, and you all know how good their chocolate is!

chocolate pinterest
Pin me!

Eating too much?

If we can turn briefly to the subject of my weight, I’ve been fortunate enough to have a metabolism which allows me to be able to eat chocolate and not really put on any weight.  Or, if I feel my jeans are a bit too tight after excessive bingeing (not only on chocolate but other tasty snacks), then I just show some restraint for a week or so, eating lots of vegetables and staying away from calorie-laden food, and my weight bounces back to its normal state.

Lucky me!

But, things have changed recently.  I’ve been eating chocolate.  A lot of it.  And my waist has expanded and it won’t shrink back to where it’s supposed to be.  Maybe it’s my age (I’m no spring chicken as you know).  Or, maybe it’s because of what I’ve been eating since we got back from Berlin last month.

In the space of one month, this has happened

You see, I’ve discovered one of my favourite chocolates in the world, and I’ve only ever found it in Germany.  It’s a simple chocolate, not sophisticated in any sense of the word.

It’s milk chocolate outside, with a filling of coconut mixed with cocoa powder.  A bit like a Bounty Bar but not moist and not white (because of the cocoa).  I can’t explain it better than that.  Just believe me when I say it’s delicious.

So, when we were in Berlin last month I bought some to bring home to Moscow.  Then I bought some more.  I ate some while we were there too.  And I also ate some other kinds of chocolate while we were there.

Romy, my favourite chocolate in the world. And the reason I weigh more than I usually do

I decided that I would bring 10 blocks of my favourite chocolates home with us.  Each block is 200gm.  That means I brought 2kg of chocolate home to Moscow.

Trying not to think about chocolate

I put them in a box under the bed so I wouldn’t be tempted to eat them all at once.  Of course, I put only 9 of them in the box, and ate the other one almost immediately.

Then I tried not to think about them.  Tried to distract myself.  I bought vegetables and tried to eat salads so I wouldn’t eat all my chocolate too quickly.  But when I’d finished eating the vegetables, I wanted to eat the chocolate.

I don’t know how it happened so quickly, but all of a sudden there’s only now 200g of chocolate left under the bed. It’s the last packet.  And I want it.  Now.  And I’m doing my best to ignore the need which is crying out inside of me because when it’s gone, there’s no more left!

And we’re not going back to Germany until the end of May.  I’ll have to go without my favourite chocolate until then.  Of course, I’m more than happy to eat Russian chocolate, but having this delicious German chocolate under our bed ready to eat at any time of the day and night has been kind of a magic time for me.

It’s been about one month since we came back with 2kg of chocolate.  And it’s more or less gone (I’m pretty sure there won’t be any left after tomorrow).

And that’s how I realised that I’m a chocoholic.

~ Cheryl

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Author: Cheryl

I'm an Australian woman who is now living in a village in rural Bulgaria. I lived for 12 years in Moscow, Russian Federation, working as an English language teacher. My current loves are my husband and my vegetable garden.

19 thoughts on “Confessions of a Chocoholic”

    1. Hi Ellen, well, I must say that’s a jolly good idea! I’ll keep it in mind if I think my addiction is getting out of hand (as if it’s not already out of hand!). Thank you for dropping my and commenting, it’s nice to see you. 🙂


  1. Yes I’d say you’re a chocoholic but isn’t it great you’ve found ‘the one’ after all this time! Great post and I’m not far behind you but now I only eat dark chocolate and convince myself it’s good for me #senisal


    1. Hi Debbie, yes, I agree, it IS so great that I’ve found ‘the one’! You know what? It doesn’t even make me feel ill if I eat too much! That’s how I can tell it’s ‘the one’. The others leave me with a bit of a stomach ache if I eat ‘too much’ (is there such a thing??). But with Romy, no problems, I could eat 400g and still be feeling good! I only eat dark chocolate when I think I’m being judged for my chocolate habits. 🙂 Thank you for visiting. 🙂


    1. Hi Michele, oh, yes, and putting it all in writing and now reading comments isn’t helping! It’s still under the bed, not 2 metres from me and I’m going to have to tie myself to the chair so I don’t relent. Because when it’s all gone, it’s all gone for another 2 months! I’m really at a loss! Michele, even if chocolate isn’t something you crave, you must have some other weakness that gives you cravings. 🙂 Thank you for reading my post and commenting, it’s nice to have you here. 🙂


  2. I couldn’t resist popping over from Esme’s just to read a confession from a chocoholic…A great confession which didn’t dull your need for chocolate at all 🙂


    1. Hello Carol! Thank you for popping over! Yes, I did think that maybe if I wrote it all down I’d start to feel guilty about it and would stop, but it’s actually worse now because now I’m not only thinking about it, I’m reading and writing about it too! Well, it’s so good, I don’t really think I want to give it up. Thank you for commenting, hope to see you here again. 🙂


  3. Ahh, me too. I love chocolate. Milky Bars – now they were the thing. I used to save up my lunch money to buy Caramacs at the school bus stop when I was a child! Do you remember them? I haven’t seen them about for years. Wow, Russian chocolate sounds divine – and less sugar, that can’t be bad. I hope your weight bounces back to normal soon – and you can get back to chocolate eating of course! #MLSTL and Shared on SM


    1. Hi Jo! No, I don’t remember Caramacs, which is strange because I was a big consumer of lollies and chocolate when I was at school and had a handful of pocket-money! I wish I could go back in time and taste some of them again. I get a bit nostalgic for our lollies, but when I make the long trip back to Perth and try some, they’re just not the same as they used to be. I think they used different ingredients back then or something. The weight is coming off slowly. My last German Romy chocolate has gone (as of 2 days ago), so now I’m pining! Thanks for popping in Jo, it’s nice to see you. 🙂


  4. My husband is a chocoholic too – he loves almost every chocolate his mouth meets – especially dark chocolate. I’m more a savoury person and chips are my downfall (any type of fried potato really). Welcome to Midlife where your metabolism starts to pack it in even further and those pesky calories start to turn into unwanted pounds!
    Thanks for linking up with us at MLSTL and I’ve shared on my SM 🙂


    1. Hi Leanne, yes, I know about mid-life – what happens to chocolate after eating it is a very different situation than what used to happen! Thank God for elastic-waisted pants! My husband’s the savoury guy in our family. He can’t understand why chocolate disappears so quickly at home, it doesn’t occur to him to get stuck into all the chocolate on the same day we buy it! Thanks for visiting! 🙂


  5. Hmmm… Yes, I do love my chocolate. I decided some time ago, though, to buy only really good dark chocolate. That has cured me of “any old chocolate” as none of it is as rewarding to the senses. As my favourite chocolate is so rewarding, I am usually happy with a small piece each day, confident in the knowledge that, as I live alone, no one else will raid my supply!
    The solution I recommend to those who have tooo much chocolate about (after Halloween or Easter) is the freezer. Still accessible but takes much longer to eat!


    1. Hi Agnes, I would also like to just buy the good dark stuff to help me reduce the amount I eat (and the amount of sugar in milk chocolate can be horrendous!), but I know I’ll eat less and I don’t want to eat less! I want to eat more! I don’t want to be a responsible chocolate eater. 🙂 I’m not sure freezing it would hinder me at all, I’d eat the chocolate frozen then! Thanks for the comment. Enjoy what’s left of the week. 🙂


  6. Oh, how I sympathize! For years I was a full-fledged chocoholic. Like alcohol – hiding it in drawers, sneaking out to buy it, consuming the entire box or package once it is open…Now that life is less stressful – and I only eat dark chocolate, it is all much more manageable. Love your writing style. #MLSTL


    1. Hello Janet, nice to see you here. 🙂 Oh, yes, hiding it, sneaking out to buy it, eating it all at once, I know all of these. The best time of my life (chocolate-wise) was when I lived alone for 4 years before moving to Moscow – no-one to steal it and no-one to judge me! Thank you for the kind words about my writing, I do appreciate it. Take care and hope to see you again. 🙂


  7. Both my husband and I are chocoholics so it is lucky that I run! I prefer dark chocolate to milk and it certainly is difficult to resist especially with Easter coming up. Dark chocolate is supposed to be good for us so I’m sticking to that idea and will enjoy a dark chocolate bunny at Easter. Thanks for sharing at #MLSTL and enjoy your weekend.


    1. Hi Sue, I think I’m going to have to start running soon, too! But, knowing me, I’ll just run to the shop and buy some more chocolate!! Yes, dark chocolate is supposed to be good for us, but I always feel I’m cheating myself when I eat it! I like the naughty feeling I get when I eat milk or white chocolate – it’s so bad for us! Thanks for popping by again. Have a great weekend! 🙂


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